Breaking the blog silence

Xiananigans will resume weekly posts Sunday.

I could use the age-old excuse of being “too busy” to write, but that’s not really the case. Lacking self-discipline to carve out time for writing each day and not holding myself accountable because “hey, I’m pregnant” sounds like a legitimate excuse to that pesky, inner critic are the main factors holding me back.

Also, placing blame on burnout from work where eight hours of my day is spent in front of a screen, either reading, editing and proofing copy, sounds good to me.

However, in the earlier hours of my day, I’m not stepping away from the screen, instead indulging in Netflix, an occasional podcast and catching up on conversations in various WeChat groups.

Putting creative endeavors on the back burner won’t work any longer, I’m afraid. When Baby Z arrives in about two months, give or take a week or two, beginning a writing routine will pose a greater challenge.

There’s so many ideas, too many in fact, I have for this space (there are 30 drafts in various stages of despair). I’ll also resume accepting guest posts. Do you have a blog of your own? I’d be much obliged to guest post there, too.

Here’s to breaking the blog silence, resuming an outlet and reconnecting with a thriving, growing niche blogging community.

And while you eagerly await Sunday, go check out other blogs by Western Women Who Love Chinese Men, including the collective offerings on WWAM Bam!

A rather timely post, given the headlines as of late, is Jocelyn’s recent article on her blog Speaking of China. Talk about outrageous double standards and a foreboding sense that history really is repeating itself…




No matter how you say it in Chinese, today ushers in the Year of the Rooster.

ZJ and I will be able to properly ring in the Chinese New Year (春节) tomorrow as our days off finally sync up.

If you haven’t already done so, go check out WWAM Bam! to read a plethora of CNY-inspired posts:

How 7 Western Women Celebrate CNY

Celebrating CNY in Shanxi

Tibetan New Year Traditions

China’s New Year Gala

Celebrating CNY in America

Dealing with CNY annoyances

You can also read my previous 春节 posts here on the blog:

Spring Festival in China, CNY in U.S.

The First Spring Festival in rural Shaanxi

Wishing you all a Happy Year of the Rooster. Looking forward to mid-May when we welcome our own little rooster 😄



Fear and Loathing in N.D.

No, this won’t be a review of Hunter S. Thompson’s title I’ve alluded to.

Something I feared most happened: I slipped leaving work last night. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if I weren’t pregnant. Thankfully, I fell to the left, on my left palm, scraping under my left knee. It was scary and in my heightened emotional state, I bawled my eyes out.

Rising temperatures during the day is causing the snow to melt and then refreeze as the sun sets. I don’t even know if they salt the walk or use ice melt of any kind. Roads, walkways aren’t in the greatest shape as cleanup isn’t happening, or at least good cleanup. I know this and so I’m extra cautious. I won’t be using the side door to leave work. Now I both fear going out and loathe it.

Fear I’ll slip again. Loathe going out to run errands, spend eight hours or more at work in silence and interact with people, forcing small talk and pleasantries. Yes, it’s part of growing up and “adulting” to put on a happy face and power through it.

I’m trying. Trying to find ways to cope with where we’re at: joining WeChat forums, blogging, Bulletjournaling, cooking, reading, and reconnecting with friends and family.

These are all things I’m doing that are so far from Bismarck so I know I need to find at least something within my immediate vicinity to keep me occupied. Pregnancy or another mom-type support group? Can I attend such a group if baby Z isn’t here yet? Maybe use the calendar of events in the paper to find something I may be even minutely interested in attending?

So many of the “events” around town revolve around coffee, alcohol, food, or hobbies that may put baby Z in harm’s way. I can only do so much reading, especially when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth and life post-baby. I’m easily overwhelmed by just how much information, contradictory no less, is out there.

I know it’s going to get better. Baby Z will be here soon. ZJ and I will get the immense pleasure of parenthood. It will still be scary and maybe overwhelming but the good will quash the bad.

Fear and loathing will soon give way to much better emotions: joy, happiness, awe (peppered with pain, aches because let’s face it childbirth isn’t merely rainbows and butterflies!)