第十九天:我的臭毛病 Day 19: Worst Habits

I am exhibiting my worst habit of all as I write this post: procrastinating.

Procrastination, and I do not know why, could make the cut as one of my most sought after pastimes. College transformed this terrible habit into a beacon, supporting me in churning out papers and news articles within hours. I fear deadlines, yet still prefer to work up until the very last minute, sweating and stressing over the finished product. My personal trainer said last week he as a perfectionist tends to embrace procrastination in order to perfect his work. Now nice it would be to connect my world champion status as a procrastinator with perfectionism, but readers would determine that is a lie 😄

So what other habits would I add to this list, in need of transforming, or how about eliminating them altogether? (I welcome answers to this rhetorical question)

Laziness. Bouts of the lazy bug come around and bite me whenever it pleases said bug.

Indecisiveness. I am terrible at making decisions. Sundays are reserved for ZJ and MK time, however more often than not, I spend the morning brooding about what we will do with the rest of the day. When we lived in Xi’an, I hemmed and hawed over our next meal. Food had always been a very formal family affair growing up; it still is.

Lacking self-reliance. I rely on ZJ a whole lot as my yin to my yang, or is it yang to my yin?

Immaturity. Mum’s the word on this one! It is difficult for me to admit this, because, yes, I am guilty of performing 撒娇, acting pouty to get what I want. As the oldest of three daddy’s girls, I learned the art of sājiāo behavior from day one. If you traveled to China, you witnessed 撒娇 on the streets, bus, in restaurants, or anywhere, especially when reserved for public consumption. A girlfriend or wife may be wining, verbally harassing, throwing a tantrum, and at extremes, physically assaulting their boyfriends or husbands. So although I am guilty of the behavior, I never go beyond acting pouty to get my way, and much to my own dismay, ZJ rallies more, so I use this tactic a lot less 😔

Possessing a highly sensitive as well as emotional personality, and that is putting it nicely. If I felt up for using less politically correct terminology, I would say I am moody. I suggested highly sensitive and emotional mainly as it relates to my husband. People close to me make absurd comments, and I let them get to me, whereas ZJ shrugs them off. I do not take others’ words with a grain of salt, nor do I appreciate the fake political correctness, the disguised racism, resulting in being easily offended or getting emotional. Emotional is twofold: either anger simmers or the water works flow.

I would say six bad habits is enough self-deprecation for one evening, and as a friendly reminder, it is because alas, I am only human, innately flawed, so try not to hold these habits against me 😄

What’s on day 20’s agenda? Well, I am going to inform you of where I see myself in ten years…may the force be with both of us tomorrow!

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