This is likely to turn into a rant so please remember you’ve been forewarned.

I recently shared that ZJ and I received good news on Facebook, but I didn’t wish to share the specifics of this good news. I felt those who saw this and had been informed of what we were up to, would know what the news was related to, and therefore did not find it necessary to announce it to every individual I happen to be friends with on Facebook. I intended it to serve as informing those who needed to be informed.

This led me to think about several things, especially how people tend to use social media to over-share and how this notion is still somewhat Westernized, at least from my point of view, or even American. I buy into the Chinese way of my business is my business or my business is mine and my family’s and close friends. I’m tired of people prying all the time or thinking that I would use Facebook to announce something really life altering, such as a pregnancy. Secondly, I find the notion that people who don’t know me or my family particularly well would assume that my parents would be delighted to hear that I was pregnant. It has little to do with culture, and more to do with the fact that neither ZJ and I are really settled or know exactly where we will be in a year. Moreover, his parents have put zero pressure on us about having kids quickly which is often common in China, as having kids early is considered better for all parties involved. For me, I honestly think that people have kids too early here, in fact, when they themselves are still kids or immature. They have the safety or social net of their parents to help care for their kids. In many cases, children are left behind with the grandparents in the countryside, while their parents seek work in urban areas. This is troubling, and I would never want to be in a position where I did this, either leaving my kids with ZJ’s parents or my parents for that matter. If your own life is unsettled, how can you be expected to care for someone else, especially a child, that requires intensive attention, care, love and affection?

This is just my two sense on something that’s been nagging me for several days, and needed to put the proverbial pen to paper to clear my mind.

6 thoughts on “Rant

  1. Helen says:

    I am very proud of your stance on raising children. You have a very mature perspective. I know when the time is right and you and Jason have a family you will be wonderful parents! I will delight in being involved with my grandchildren!

  2. homey says:

    hi,i guess this referred to my post on fb.m sorry to bring you or ur family any headache.
    as a “fb friend”,i do care my friends status especially the ones who are far away and just had big events in their life.i may not know you or Jason personally well but m still happy for you and wanna give you two my best wishes.
    after saw your post,i am sorry that i couldn’t help myself thinking if it’s the news related to baby and i think it’s normal that people would think that way of a new couple (when you see a post like that).
    i do like the way how you would bring up your kids and i understand it’s totally your business when/where/how to hv the baby.good luck

    • maklu001 says:

      Hi Homey, I’m glad you responded, and nothing you said caused anyone a headache; on occasion I use my small corner of the web to write about things I feel strongly about. You are certainly not a lone wolf in thinking my status referred to pregnancy, but, by nature, at least on the web, I do not over-share. Jason and I still both appreciate your good wishes and support.

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