This is likely to turn into a rant so please remember you’ve been forewarned.
I recently shared that ZJ and I received good news on Facebook, but I didn’t wish to share the specifics of this good news. I felt those who saw this and had been informed of what we were up to, would know what the news was related to, and therefore did not find it necessary to announce it to every individual I happen to be friends with on Facebook. I intended it to serve as informing those who needed to be informed.
This led me to think about several things, especially how people tend to use social media to over-share and how this notion is still somewhat Westernized, at least from my point of view, or even American. I buy into the Chinese way of my business is my business or my business is mine and my family’s and close friends. I’m tired of people prying all the time or thinking that I would use Facebook to announce something really life altering, such as a pregnancy. Secondly, I find the notion that people who don’t know me or my family particularly well would assume that my parents would be delighted to hear that I was pregnant. It has little to do with culture, and more to do with the fact that neither ZJ and I are really settled or know exactly where we will be in a year. Moreover, his parents have put zero pressure on us about having kids quickly which is often common in China, as having kids early is considered better for all parties involved. For me, I honestly think that people have kids too early here, in fact, when they themselves are still kids or immature. They have the safety or social net of their parents to help care for their kids. In many cases, children are left behind with the grandparents in the countryside, while their parents seek work in urban areas. This is troubling, and I would never want to be in a position where I did this, either leaving my kids with ZJ’s parents or my parents for that matter. If your own life is unsettled, how can you be expected to care for someone else, especially a child, that requires intensive attention, care, love and affection?
This is just my two sense on something that’s been nagging me for several days, and needed to put the proverbial pen to paper to clear my mind.